


All the Things I Could Have Said

by GayCheerios



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Saihara Shuichi, Boys In Love, Crying, Dirty Talk, Fluff and Angst, Love Hotels, M/M, Pet Names, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Sexual Fantasy, Sir Kink, Top Oma Kokichi, Toxic Relationships, mental breakdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:09:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayCheerios/pseuds/GayCheerios
Summary: Ouma had held the key for the love hotel, as he stood in front of Saihara Shuichi’s door. It was undeniable that he had a crush on the shy detective, so when the option for this ‘love hotel’ was given to him, he jumped at the chance. He wasn’t interested in anyone else but Saihara. Of course, he would never admit that...
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 74
Kudos: 398





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> alright you stupid horny little bitches cmere. get ur angsty two parter oumasai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> i took a lil break from oumasai to focus on star wars....obikin...my good boys.
> 
> but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh take this i love these boys and ouma is a vulnerable little shit like me ahahahAAAAAAAAAA anyway  
> enjoy fuckers
> 
> ALSO RIGHT NOW. YOU. RIGHT NOW. GO FOLLOW MY AO3 INSTAGRAM TO GET SNEAK PEAKS OF ALL MY UPCOMING FANFICS AND NOTIFS ON WHEN THEY’RE POSTED. MY INSTA IS Gaycheerios_ao3

Ouma had held the key for the love hotel, as he stood in front of Saihara Shuichi’s door. It was undeniable that he had a crush on the shy detective, so when the option for this ‘love hotel’ was given to him, he jumped at the chance. He wasn’t interested in anyone else but Saihara. Of course he would never admit that. 

He unlocked the door, and was met with a downright _ ugly  _ room. The pink, red, and white color scheme made him feel like he was trippin’ some sort of acid. But, in that distasteful room, was Saihara, sitting and reading a book quietly.

_ Typical.  _

Saihara’s eyes darted up from the page as he eagerly shut the book to greet Ouma. The little leader’s heart pounded in his chest heavily. 

“Kokichi! Welcome home, love.” Saihara smiled softly, nuzzling himself against Ouma. Ouma was so distracted with Saihara’s affection he almost didn’t realize he used his first name. 

“Thank you Sa-Shuichi.” Ouma smiled, paralyzed by his crush’s attention.  _ This was the most amazing thing to ever happen. _

“How was your day?” Shuichi asked softly, grabbing at Kokichi’s hands and rubbing them softly. This scene was just  _ so perfect.  _ Everything about this was just  _ so Saihara.  _ Kokichi had felt like he was sent straight up to heaven. This is what he had  _ yearned  _ for. 

“It was…” Kokichi paused for a moment. Would he let himself be honest in this fantasy world, would he fuck it up? “It was stressful, and not too good.” Absolutely  _ not. _

“I’m sorry Kichi...But if it makes you feel better…” Shuichi leaned in to whisper into Kokichi’s ear. “I made so  _ many  _ mistakes today, and I’ve been  _ such  _ a bad boy...I think deserve some kind of  _ punishment  _ today Sir.” He whispered lowly and teasingly into his ear. 

What. 

_ What? _

WHAT?

_ This  _ was Shuichi’s true fantasy? How did it go to about a one to a fucking ten in about five minutes? Wherever this was going Kokichi had to play along, and act fast. This was one of the time Kokichi had blessed his acting skills. Although if he was being honest...it wasn’t entirely acting…More of acting on the urges he’s had since the moment he laid eyes on Shuichi…

“Oh  _ yeah?  _ Has my boy been  _ extra  _ bad today?” Kokichi whispered back, pushing Shuichi onto the bed, as he crawled after him on top of the bed. Saihara shuddered.

Is this  _ just  _ Shuichi’s fantasy? Because Kokichi is one hundred percent sure that this played into  _ his own  _ fantasy too.

“Yeah...I have been.” Saihara breathed, as Kokichi ran a finger down his clothed erection. “What are you gunna do about it, Sir?” He muses, his breath hitching as Kokichi bumped his erection against Shuichi’s.

Kokichi smirks, as he leans down to nip at Shuichi’s ear. “I’m going to punish you. Mark you up and leave you with a hundred marks, made by  _ only me.  _ So when people look at you your whole body will spell out my name. That you completely and utterly belong to Ouma Kokichi. You’ll be so sore that you’ll be unable to walk. You’ll be all  _ mine. _ ” 

Shuichi lets out a moan, as Kokichi’s hands find their way under his shirt, to rub at his nipples. Kokichi’s surprised when he hears a high pitched  _ keen  _ come from Shuichi. 

“Ah...they’re still so sensitive from last time. Please, be gentle.” Shuichi whimpers out, spreading his legs so Kokichi could sit between them. 

“Oh they  _ are,  _ are they?” Kokichi grins, deciding he’s had enough of Shuichi’s pesky shirt, and unbuttoning it as fast as he can. Once that stupid button-up was off, Kokichi was met with Shuichi’s pretty nipples, they were all red, which was a bit off-putting, had someone else touched him?

Shuichi sensing that something was off, smiled almost drunkenly. “Don’t you remember when you forced me to make them all red, you told me to, and you wouldn’t let me stop until they were red.” He blushes happily. 

_ Oh,  _ that definitely sounds like something he would say, but when…? Right, stay in ‘character’.

“Mm, I don’t remember sayin’ that y'know...Perhaps...is my darling lying to me?” Kokichi pretends to be shocked, as he dips his head down to suck and bite at Shuichi’s left nipple, as his free hand toys with his right. 

“N-No Sir I would never-“ Shuichi cuts himself off with a moan as Kokichi bites down on his rosy red nipple. “Ouuh Kichi~” He moans out, dragging out Kokichi’s nickname and holy  _ fuck- _ Shuichi is so hot moaning like this. It makes Kokichi want to hear  _ more and more and more _ . He wants to drink up all the sweet sounds Shuichi is making, he just wants  _ more.  _

Kokichi unzips Shuichi’s pants at a snail’s pace, watching the detective squirm around impatiently. This all felt like a dream, but the sensation of making Shuichi squirm, and the heavy blush on Kokichi’s face was  _ real.  _ Everything about this was real. His feelings were real, his love for Shuichi was real. And this entire situation was a cruel reminder that he could never truly have Shuichi. But tonight. For one night, he would indulge himself. He would make this a night that he would  _ never  _ forget. Kokichi would put this night, all these emotions, the feeling and taste of Shuichi’s lips, he’d remember them all, and put all these wonderful things in his own little bottle, so he could drink himself drunk, and remember this night of pure, raw,  _ love.  _

Once Shuichi’s pants were off and unzipped, Kokichi pressed his lips to Shuichi’s hungrily, he needed to mesmerize the feeling of kissing Shuichi, of making the boy squirm, and whine, and moan out his name. 

Under him Shuichi smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Kokichi’s neck, and happily kissing right back. When they parted, Kokichi took the time to gaze at Shuichi’s face. His milky white skin was flushed a rose red, as his long and cute eyelashes fluttered innocently. Kokichi felt his heart bursting, rivers of love and adoration for the boy underneath him coursing through his bloodstream. 

“You’re gorgeous.” Kokichi whispers, pressing

his face against Shuichi’s. “You’re so damn beautiful I can’t stand it, I can’t tell you enough how perfect you are, Shuichi.” He smiles, pressing kisses all along his face. “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and you’ve truly stolen my heart.” 

Shuichi giggles at the praise, hugging Ouma closer. “Just as I’ve stolen your heart, you stole mine, you own my heart, my soul, my everything.” 

Kokichi’s grip only tightens around Shuichi. 

“What’s the matter love? Do you want to stop?” Shuichi asks, worry seeping through his words. 

“No my dear, not at all.” Kokichi wills away his tears, he doesn’t want Shuichi to see him cry. “I just really wanted to hear that, you know how happy it makes me.” He chuckles softly.

“I know, you’re such a sap sometimes sweetheart.” Shuichi teases, kissing Kokichi’s cheek lovingly. 

“You know me my beloved, you know me so well. Shall we continue?” Kokichi muses, his hand trailing down to rub at Shuichi’s clothed dick. 

Shuichi let out a soft moan, as he released his grip from Kokichi’s neck, and laid his hands above his head. “Yes please.” He whispered out, his arousal becoming more overwhelming by the second.

Kokichi grinned, slowly pulling off Shuichi’s gray boxers, as Shuichi whimpered helplessly below him. Once Shuichi’s boxers were off, his dick sprung free, and Kokichi was mesmerized. The promise of punishment was fading quickly. He had to keep up a bit more. 

“Hmm...y’know I think I’ve decided that I won’t touch you, then maybe you’ll cum untouched?” Kokichi leaned into Shuichi’s ear, and licked at it. “I think that’d be  _ really  _ hot, don’tcha’ think?” He growled into his ear, nipping at it gently. 

“ _ Ah _ y-yes Sir, do as you please.” Shuichi whimpered out. Kokichi didn’t realize how  _ vocal  _ Shuichi would be in bed, he always imagined a quiet Shuichi, but damn was he wrong. Not that he was complaining. But it was unexpected.

“Such  _ obedience  _ my dear! How lucky am I to have such a cute lil’ plaything!” Kokichi cheered, biting around Shuichi’s thighs, and leaving marks all around his legs, his mouth daring to go closer to Shuichi’s dick, but never pressing his lips against it. Shuichi’s entire body was practically  _ buzzing  _ with pleasure, and Kokichi couldn’t be happier.  _ He  _ was doing this to Shuichi, watching him come apart,  _ making  _ him come apart. It was beautiful,  _ Shuichi  _ was beautiful. 

“I really did mean it before my beloved.” Kokichi grins, biting right above Shuichi’s hip. “I want to mark you, all over you, so you’re all mine, I own you in every aspect of the word. You’re  _ mine.  _ You’ll always be mine, never forget that. I’ll mark you so good that not an inch of your skin won’t be covered by the bruises left by me. You won’t even be able to wear shorts, or short sleeves. You’ll have to wear high collar everything, or else everyone will know you’ll be marked.” Kokichi rambles, dragging his thumb across Shuichi’s asshole. 

Shuichi moans loudly at Kokichi’s words, while he pushes on Kokichi’s thumb, a silent beg to just push his _ damn finger in already. _ But a silent beg wouldn’t be enough. 

“Do you want something my beloved?” Kokichi asks innocently, his hands raking up Shuichi’s torso, and massaging in random areas. “Cuz if you want something you know ya’ gotta ask me, right? Can’t read minds babydoll.” He smirks.

“Sir  _ please.”  _ Shuichi chokes out, moaning as Kokichi’s hands fidget with Shuichi’s red and raw nipples. 

“Please  _ what? _ You’re gunna have to be more specific than that darling.” The purple haired boy grins. Oh this is  _ too easy. _

Shuichi whines as Kokichi pinches his nipples. “Pl-please fuck me, I’ve been good, I’ll be good Sir oh  _ god please. _ ” He moans, bucking his hips up to gain any sort of friction. 

“Oh but my dear, you said you misbehaved today. Does that…” Kokichi paused, and Shuichi’s breath hitched.  _ Perfect _ . Kokichi threaded his hand in Shuichi’s gorgeous blue locks and smiled, yanking his head back. “Does that mean you’re  _ lying  _ to me my beloved?” He says angrily, digging his sharp nails into the bluenette’s scalp. 

Shuichi moans at the rough treatment. “N-no Sir I meant that-“ He was cut off by Kokichi’s lips meeting his own in an intense and passionate kiss, as tears streamed down Shuichi’s face.

Kokichi chuckles. “I know baby, I know what you mean. I’m only playing.” He says softly, “Where’s the lube baby?” The purple haired boy asks, releasing his almost death grip on Shuichi’s hair, and petting it as an almost apology for the rough treatment.

“D-drawer.” He stammers, pointing to the nightstand, as he watched Kokichi get up and leisurely rummage through the drawer, until he found what he was looking for. He climbed back onto the bed and popped open the bottle, pouring the clear lube onto his fingers, and evenly coating it. 

“Relax a bit, ‘mkay baby?” Kokichi purred, carefully sticking one finger into Shuichi’s hole. “That’s it, good boy.” He praised, pressing a kiss to Shuichi’s thigh. Kokichi didn’t miss the way Shuichi’s cock pulsed at the praise, so he has a thing for being praised, huh? He’d keep that in mind. 

Once Shuichi was loose enough, Kokichi let a second finger join, as he slowly scissored Shuichi open. Moans were spilling out of Shuichi’s lips like an overflowing sink, his sweet and rather girly moans filling up the room. 

“You’re so  _ cute  _ my love. All squirming and panting like a bitch in heat. God I could just eat you up.” Kokichi mumbled, kissing at Shuichi’s hips as he worked in a third finger. With one or two more pushes he was sure that he could find-

“ _ Ah!”  _ A loud moan ripped its way out of Shuichi’s throat.  _ Jackpot.  _ He found Shuichi’s prostate. “Ouh  _ Sir ‘m ready.”  _ The bluenette whined, pushing back on those incredibly skilled fingers. 

“Hm...I don’t know...I don’t think you are.” Kokichi snickered, watching as Shuichi bounced himself against Kokichi. 

Shuichi panted heavily as another finger was in him. “Pleaaaaaasee Sir please I’ll do anything just stick your cock in me  _ please-“  _ Shuichi babbled, whining it out like a spoiled child.

“That’ll do baby.” He hushed, pressing his lips against Shuichi’s kiss swollen, cherry red lips. “You begged so good, just like you’re supposed to. I’ll fill you up nice and good ok?” Kokichi smiled, removing his fingers and lubing himself up. 

“Sir ‘m ready…” Shuichi managed to whisper, trying to inch himself closer to Kokichi’s body. 

“Relax, I’ve gotcha, you’ll feel good real soon, ‘mkay?” Kokichi pressed a kiss to Shuichi’s cheek, and slowly pushed inside of Shuichi’s warm and tempting entrance. Kokichi let out a groan, as he easily sank into Shuichi. Once he was all the way in, he gave Shuichi another kiss. “You ok baby?” He asked softly, brushing those pretty blue bangs out of his face so he could see those gorgeous golden eyes, glassy and hazy with pleasure.

Shuichi moaned, and nodded his head slowly, leaning into Kokichi’s touch. 

“I’m gonna move ok?” 

Shuichi nodded, as Kokichi started to fuck him. The careful pace was soon tossed out the window, as Shuichi begged for a faster and harder pace, and all Kokichi could do was comply. Here was this gorgeous boy, laid out in front of him, practically giving his soul to Kokichi, moaning his name like some kind of prayer, and Kokichi was under his spell. He wasn’t just a pretty face, he had such a big heart, such good and pure intentions, always putting everyone first, and using that brian of his to help others around him. And that smile. That gorgeous, sweet, phenomenal , radiant, amazing, glowing, and perfect smile of his. Kokichi was but a victim of its glow.

“So beautiful Shuichi, you’re so gorgeous, inside and out, you’re perfect.” Kokichi groaned out, his thrusts becoming erotic and fast. 

“C-cum? Can I cum Sir?” Shuichi  _ keened.  _

“Mhm, course you can baby, my good boy.” Kokichi praised, capturing his mouth in a kiss. 

Shuichi parted to utter three words. “ _ I love you.”  _ He whispered, and that was it. Kokichi hastily pulled out of Shuichi, and splattered his cum on Shuichi stomach. 

Kokichi wanted to lie down and cuddle, but he also wanted them to be clean. So, fighting the powerful urge to snuggle, he got up, and grabbed a towel from the bathroom, to clean them up. He put some more comfortable clothes on that he found, and he helped put on Shuichi’s clothes too. After all the laborious cleaning, he could finally lie down with Shuichi. 

He wrapped the bluenette in his arms and smiled. “Good?” He asked simply, rubbing his hand up and down on his back.

“Yeah, I really missed that.” Shuichi affirmed, nuzzling himself in Kokichi’s neck. 

“Shuichi?” 

“Yes?”

There was a pause. 

“I love you. I love you so damned much it’s scary. Sometimes...Sometimes I’m scared that you could never love me back. Because I’m such a liar…” 

A sweet, but knowing sigh was released from Shuichi. “Oh darling, you know how much I love you. There could never be a world where Saihara Shuichi doesn’t love Ouma Kokichi, it’s not possible. And even if it seemed like I don’t love you, I do. I always have, and I always will love you.”

“It all feels like a dream Shuichi.” Kokichi can’t help the tears spilling down his face. “I feel like it’s all a dream and when I wake up you won’t be in my arms, I won’t be able to hold you, or kiss you, or tell you how much I love you Shuichi. It hurts me so much.” 

Shuichi wraps his arms around Kokichi and hugs him tightly. “Oh Kokichi. It’s not a dream, my love for you will never be a dream. It’s all real. The love we have for eachother is real. It always will be. No matter what. Everything is going to be ok.” 

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I can’t say it enough. I can’t get enough of you, you’re my whole world, I’ve never felt as loved as I am with you. I’ve never had someone care like you do, I’ve never  _ felt  _ any love like this, or any love at all. But this. Right here. What we have. I know it’s love.” Kokichi cries, smiling sadly against Shuichi’s cheek.

“Kokichi, my love, let’s go to sleep. You’re exhausted, I know how tired you get after work, and especially after sex. Come dear, we’ll talk in the morning. For now, you have nothing to worry about, you’re in my arms, and there’s nowhere safer than that.” Shuichi hushes, gently rocking the two of them back and forth in a soothing motion. 

“Shuichi, before this dream ends.” Kokichi backs away from Shuichi to gaze into his eyes. “Please, say it one more time. Say it to me one more time, before I never hear it again.” He sobs, with a smile on his face. He’s met with Shuichi’s gorgeous smile. 

“I love you. Ouma Kokichi. I love you with all my heart.” Shuichi says, punctuating his point with the sweetest kiss on Kokichi’s lips. “And that’s no lie.” 

Kokichi wipes his tears away, and smiles. “That’ll do for now. I’m happy. I’m happy I have memories of you tonight Shuichi. I’ll keep them with me forever. And I know you don’t understand, but I love you. I love you so much.” Kokichi gave one last kiss to Shuichi’s lips. One last, long, sweet kiss. Kokichi pulled back from Shuichi’s confused face. 

“Kokichi, my love, I have no clue what you’re going on about, please, whatever it is I’m here.” Shuichi says softly. 

Kokichi gets up from the bed, and stands by the door. “Goodnight my beloved. See you soon.” And with that, he slams the love hotel door shut. Without a minute’s hesitation, he runs back to his own room, to think about all the things he could have said to Shuichi... 


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning when Kokichi awoke, his eyes were aching, and his head was pounding. He supposes it’s from crying himself to sleep. Go figure. 

Memories from the previous night came flooding back in an instant. The taste of Shuichi’s lips lingered on his own, the sound of Shuichi moaning his name, the feel of his delicate skin under his fingertips, everything about last night, came buzzing in his mind. 

Kokichi felt his heart aching, it spread throughout every inch of his body, the burning sensation of tears welling up in his eyes, trying so desperately to hold his emotions in. This is what happens when you mess with your greatest desires. This was the price Ouma Kokichi had to pay, for giving into his deepest and most overwhelming desire. The reality of life felt like a crushing sensation, it felt like he was being crushed underneath the weight of his anguish. 

Saihara was the only person to give him a chance. Saihara was the only one to smile at him, and believe in him, and what did he do? Ruined it. Sometimes he wishes he would be the next person dead in this horrendous game. The sight of the bodies, and the blood made him sick each time. But he had the gall to keep up this charade, this game. This disgusting persona he put on to hide his emotions. To hide everything. 

“You’re alone Ouma-kun. You always will be” 

The words rang in his head, a mantra he couldn’t stop. Saihara’s words rang true. He was alone. In this horrifying killing game. So many people had died already, he hated it each time. But he just couldn’t stop his lies, he couldn’t stop the charade he put on to hide how broken he was.

He longed for Saihara, he longed for the love he had felt last night, the soft, gentle press of Saihara’s lips against his, the way Saihara held him, he felt the love Saihara was emitting. He held onto that feeling inside him and sobbed harder. 

Saihara would think it’s all a dream. That last night never happened. There was no trace of last night anyway. Would Saihara remember taste of Kokichi’s lips, as he remembered too?

The thought was crushed by Kokichi immediately. Of course Saihara wouldn’t remember. Don’t be foolish.

Kokichi, curled into himself, in his dark, lonely room, felt so broken. He couldn’t do it anymore. He had already lost himself. The one thing

he wanted, he couldn’t have. The one chance he had, he destroyed it. And now, he had to deal with the consequences of the best night he had ever had. He had to pay, for his wish had been granted. With every wish, there’s a curse. Kokichi had to deal with his curse. 

Kokichi wanted to stay in his room, and wither away to nothing, he wanted to be lost in

his bed sheets, and never be seen again. But fate was not in his favor, for there was a knock at his door. The temptation to keep the door slammed shut, was difficult to ignore, but in the end, he decided to answer. As he woozily got up to answer the door, the cool room began to spin around him. When was the last time he ate something? He can’t remember. 

Kokichi slowly opens the door, and his eyes go wide. 

“Shu-Saihara. What are you doing here?” He asks, frozen at the door. There, he was. The boy that had consumed his every thought, his everything. His everything was at the door, with a worried expression. 

“I...I had a bad feeling. I…” Saihara took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts, as he stood in Ouma’s doorframe. “I know it sounds stupid, but I had a dream...and it worried me.” The bluenette admitted. 

Ouma stood there. Feeling every emotion, and feeling no emotions all at once. Part of him wanted to go right up to Saihara, and tell him everything. Tell him it wasn’t a dream. That he loved him-that he would die without him. But the other side of Ouma wanted to shut him out. Close the door right on that gorgeous face, the face that smiled at him, the face that was moaning his name, the face he kissed all night. He just stood there. 

“Ouma-kun...are you ok?” Saihara’s voice was clear as day, with that soft-spoken tone of his. Didn’t Saihara hate him? 

“Why are you here Saihara?” There was no malice in his voice, no venom. Only anguish. Only a broken boy, portrayed through those simple words. “I thought you hated me.” He whispered, barely audible. The world was getting more hazy around him, his lack of sleep and nutrition slowly taking its toll. 

Saihara looked at him for a moment. Then looked straight into his eyes. “I’m here because I care about you, Ouma-kun. I was worried, and I still am. Can I talk to you more privately?” Saihara’s golden eyes practically tore through his soul, piercing every inch. 

Tears were falling down his face and he didn’t even realize it. Ouma laughed, the sound coming out like shattered glass, broken. “I already know I can’t have this. Is this some kind of cruel joke? Is this a nightmare? I can’t even tell anymore. All I know is you, Saihara. All I know is I have to pay the price for love. I have to pay the price for the one night I wished for.” Ouma sobbed, a smile creeping its way onto his face, as he started to curl in on himself. “I got my happiness. My one wish, the one thing I’ve wanted since the moment I first laid eyes on you. I have to play along with this sick joke. That was the happiest time of my life, I’ve never known happiness like this, I’ve never known love like that.” Ouma crumpled to the floor in defeat. “Whatever cruel fate this is, whatever horrible, sick, and twisted joke this is Saihara-please. I’m begging you. Make it stop. Just stop it already.” Ouma was full on sobbing, his entire body was shaking as Saihara quickly crouched to the ground. “Last night, was my true happiness. Now I have all those precious memories with me. I still remember the glow in your eyes, I remember the taste of your lips, I remember the way you held me, and called out my name. I remember everything. These precious memories are the only thing I have left to hold onto.” He hiccuped. 

“Ouma-kun…” Saihara sighed, leaning to hug the smaller, crying boy. Saihara grasped his hand, and lead him into his own room, and sat him on the bed. Ouma didn’t care. “Ouma-kun, please don’t cry.” Saihara said, hugging him tightly. “Please, don’t cry, I hate to see you upset. It hurts my heart.” 

“Saihara, stop it! Stop playing this trick. I know I’m fucked up, I know I’m the scum of the Earth, but this hurts too much, this hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt.” He shouted, more tears dripping onto the bedsheets.

“Kokichi.” Saihara called. “I remember.” 

That got Kokichi’s attention. 

Saihara smiled softly, as he placed a gentle kiss onto Kokichi’s forehead. “I remember it all. That’s why I came. You left me all alone, confused, and scared for you. I was so worried, but I couldn’t find you anywhere. I ran and I ran and I ran after you to try and find you. But you vanished.” 

“You….You remember?” Kokichi whispered, as Saihara’s hands went to wipe away the tears.

“I remember everything.” Saihara confirmed. “I love you.” 

Kokichi’s tears appeared instantly after hearing those words. He clung to Saihara like a lifeline. 

“Saihara you’re all I have left in this world. You’re all I’ve had. I don’t know what love is, I don’t know how it feels to be loved, I don’t know anything without you. I want you to be mine forever, forever, forever.” He sobbed into Saihara’s shoulder. “I don’t know anything but you. My life has been so miserable without you. Then you came in, and added color to my world, you made me feel things that I thought life had burned a long time ago.” 

“It’s ok. It’s ok Kokichi.” Shuichi soothed. “I’ll be yours, forever.” 

“Forever. You’re mine. You’re finally mine.” Kokichi murmured, repeating it over and over. “There are so many things I want to say to you.” 

“Then say them. I’ll be here forever.” 

“All the things I’ve ever wanted to say...I’ll say them to you, but the most important thing I have to say to you.” Kokichi took a deep breath, and looked into those golden eyes, they were swirling with love and adoration. “I love you.” He breathed, lunging for Shuichi’s lips. The taste was as he remembered it. Sweetness. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.” Kokichi said over and over, never wanting to stop. 

“You’re my world, you’re my everything Shuichi. You’re my soul, you’re my everything. You’re mine. At last. You’re mine. All the things I could have said, I want to say everything. You’ll be mine forever. MINE.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so what did you think?? i’d love to know! this is a very unhealthy relationship btw. ouma doesn’t have a good mental state and this is a very toxic relationship. very angsty and very unhealthy! but they stay in this relationship for the rest of their lives!!! hooray!!! so it ended kinda..,yeah this is not a happy ending. even tho they’re together and theyre happy...ouma is possessive, and he literally cannot live without saihara. so yeah!!! hope you enjoyed

**Author's Note:**

> cry :) feel sad :) do it :)


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